Author Archives: admin

How To Deal With Broken Machines

Approach the ailing machine in a confident manner. This will give the machine the (often mistaken) idea that you know something. This will also impress anyone who happens to be looking and if the machine should suddenly [...]

The Latest Computer Lingo

Dilberted:
To be exploited and oppressed by your boss.
Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. “I’ve been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.”

Link Rot:
The process by which links on a web page became as obsolete as the sites they’re connected to [...]

Computer Jargon 3
Are you Terrified of your Computer?
Are you terrified of your computer? Do you feel out of place and overwhelmed when your friends or co-workders start spouting reams and reams of technical jargon that you will never understand? Then this article is for you! We’ll help you get over your fear [...]

Computer Jargon 1
When I went to college in the 1980’s, I heard a lot of words like “data input” and “beta version.” They confused me. I wanted desperately to know what people were talking about, what Big Secret resided in the computer industry.
Now that I’ve worked in a computer company [...]

Computer Jargon 2

ANALOG:
Hors d’oeuvre, usually made from cheese and covered with crushed nuts.

BACKUP:
Opposite of go forward

BATCH PROCESSING:
Making a lot of cookies at once

BINARY:
Possessing the ability to have friends of both sexes

BIT:
12-1/2 cents

BRANCH:
If watered, it will grow into a computer club (see computer club)

BUFFER:
Programmer who works in the nude

BUG:
1. Programmer’s term for a feature.

BUG:
2. An elusive [...]

Adam and Eve
In the Garden of Eden,
As everyone knows,
Lives Adam and Eve,
Without any clothes.
In this garden,
Were two little leaves,
One covered Adam’s,
One covered Eve’s.
As the story goes on,
Never the less to say,
The wind came along,
And blew the leaves away.
At the sight,
Adam did stare,
There was Eve’s treasure,
All covered with hair.
And wonder came,
Under Eve’s eyes,
As Adam’s thing,
Started to [...]

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead racoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
Two boll weevils grew up in Mississippi. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The [...]